WITH NO WARNING AND CLEAR OUT OF THE BLUE, A HUSBAND SAID 2 HIS WIFE,"HONEY, I HAVE INVITED A FRIEND OVER 4 SUPPER TONIGHT"
HIS WIFE REPLIED,"WHAT? ARE U CRAZY? THE HOUSE IS A MESS, I DIDN'T HAVE TIME 2 GO SHOPPING, ALL THE DISHES R DIRTY, AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE COOKING A FANCY MEAL TONIGHT"
THE HUSBAND SAID,"I KNOW ALL THAT."
"THEN WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU INVITE YOUR FRIEND 4 SUPPER TONIGHT?" ASKED THE WIFE.
THE GUY ANSWERED,"BECAUSE THE POOR FOOL IS THINKING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED"
~~~~~~~~~~~YO MAMA JOKE(S)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR MAMA'S SO FAT, THE ONLY THING STOPPING HER FROM GOING TO JENNY CRAIG IS THE DOOR SIZE.
TODAY'S BLOND JOKE!
JILL HAD BEEN MARRIED ABOUT A YEAR WHEN 1 DAY SHE CAME RUNNING UP 2 HER HUSBAND JUMPING 4 JOY. NOT KNOWING HOW 2 REACT, THE HUSBAND STARTED JUMPING UP AND DOWN WITH HER.
"WHY R WE SO HAPPY?" HE ASKED.
"I'M PREGNANT!" SHE SAID
THE HUSBAND WAS ESTATIC AS THEY HAD BEEN TRYING FOR A WHILE. HE TOLD HER THAT HE COULDN'T B HAPPIER.
THEN SHE SAID"OH, HONEY THERE'S MORE."
"WHAT DO U MEAN MORE?" HE ASKED.
"WELL WERE NOT JUST HAVING 1 BABY, WERE HAVING
TWINS" SHE SAID.
AMAZED AT HOW SHE COULD TELL SO SOON AFTER BECOMING PREGNANT, HE ASKED HER HOW SHE KNEW?
"IT WAS EASY" JILL EXPLAINED. "I WENT 2 THE PHARMACY AND BOUGHT THE 2-PACK HOME PREGNANCY TEST KIT AND BOTH TEST CAME OUT POSSITIVE!"
THERE WAS A BLONDE WHOSE HOUSE WAS ON FIRE.
SHE CALLS THE FIRE DEPARTMENT SCREAMING,"HELP ME, HELP ME. MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE. PLEASE!"
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT OPERATER SAYS, "OKAY, OKAY. CALM DOWN AND WE'LL BE THERE SOON. HOW DO WE GET TO YOUR HOUSE?"
THE BLONDE ANSWERS, "DUH, IN THE BIG RED TRUCK!"
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